I'm having my next CT scan tomorrow. I report to MD Anderson at 7am for bloodwork and then to prepare for my scan at 9am. This happens every 3 months so I'm getting pretty used to it.
What I am not getting used to....people complaining about mundane stupid stuff,
"Oh no, I'm not gonna be able to breast feed for 6 months like I want to!"
"Raising a kid is a tough job, you'll understand one day when you have your own."
"My kid didn't make the A team for basketball. they are so devastated!"
"Team X should have won this college football game if it wasn't for lame XYZ reason"
"I'm the golden child at work but I still complain about stuff that doesn't go my way even when I don't deserve to be the golden child at work and what I complain about doesn't matter!"
Sorry, but this is what I deal with on a day to day basis...before you say anything, yes I know, I complain about mundane stupid stuff too. But if you guys have noticed me feeling a little down lately let me tell you why. I really don't have much patience left for those of us who have been given so many blessings and don't even realize it. Yes, some of my best friends are the worst ones and you probably don't even know it. I'm at my wits end with many of you. You don't even realize how good you have it. Meanwhile, back in CancerLand, some of my friends are really struggling.
Laurie had to go to the ER today, they thought she had a lung embolism but didn't, thank goodness. She has had to stop her cancer treatments back in California due to issues with her bloodwork. Her family is worried that the cancer will have its way while she has her treatment break. She isn't due back at MD Anderson for scans until December 7. Please pray, it is a difficult time for her and her family. Here lately I find myself trying to "wheel and deal" with God for a miracle where she is concerned. I'm not gonna go into details, but I feel very strongly that Laurie needs some good news and needs to be delivered from her cancer. That's just what I want...I want a "normal", wonderful life for Laurie. I want her to be married and have children and live happily ever after. That's what I want for her so desperately...
My friend Lindsey who has metastatic cervical cancer is having a difficult time too. She now has pelvic fractures and a new tumor. She is now on new chemos, but is in a lot of pain and looking to go on disability with work. She also needs to find a new place to live as her roommate situation is not working out. We have offered her a place to stay at our house - Clint's idea too! I love my wonderful and thoughtful husband. We hope she accepts our offer to stay at our house. She would bring so much life and love to our home!
I guess I have been a little worried about my CT scans coming up, but I have been reminded daily about how wonderful my life has been since cancer. I am so THANKFUL for meeting all my CancerLand friends and appreciate everything they have taught me about life. No matter what my results are on Tuesday, I know that I can face the results knowing that God is on my side and I have wonderful cancer friends to look up to like Laurie and Lindsey. So many of you have commented on my courage and strength, but it is nothing compared to my two sweet friends. They are the true heroes...not me.
So excuse me if I'm a little annoyed with our comfortable lives. WE HAVE IT SO GOOD and don't even realize it. I hope we all realize what we truly have and appreciate every minute of it before its too late.
I will let you all know how my scans go, but either way...does it really matter?
Love and light, Girlfriend! You are right on target, as I know I am guilty of often taking things for granted. I try not to, and try to truly appreciate my blessings and even simple joys. You are a ray of light. Sending love your way. Please know I appreciate YOU! Love, Gayla
ReplyDeleteRachel...I'm so sorry girl, I know you have so much going on & I admire your strength. You are one of the reasons that I have been able to get through my own struggles. I think of you often, even though we don't get to talk much. I will be praying for you today, like I do often. Your a fighter, you have always been tough & stubborn which is a great quality to beat this. I was hoping I would see you Sat at Clint's party, I guess I should have called to see if you were going, but he said your Clint had been out of town for a long time. Give me a shout later & you have a Happy Thanksgiving...you deserve it and maybe the icing on the pumpkin pie can be the Aggies beating the Lonhorns! Love ya girl! Jackie
ReplyDeleteI agree with so much of what you are saying. Rachel you have a great outlook on your situation and are so caring towards others. The four boys from my school that I work at that saw their father stab their mother to death in the front yard....those are the ones I feel sorry for. They won't have their Momma around this Christmas and that hurts my heart. We at "SELF HEADQUARTERS" stress that compassion towards others is most important.... maybe because we are such a big family and we have to live quite modestly- I think it is better that way. So many do not appreciate what they have. Donald and I feel very strongly about that and would not have it any other way. I pray for you always and keep on doing what you are doing. You have touched the lives of many people and I am sure of many more to come. Have a very blessed Thanksgiving.Love, Shawn
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